And It's Still Rain'n

       It has been three months since I have posted....not that I haven't written and journaled.  Since arriving back on the field here in Wrangell on May 1st we have been so very busy and attempting to adjust back into the flow of life.  Yet, there is the ever looming flood of thoughts that hover just beyond where we allow our minds to reach.  This past Sunday was a beautiful evening and just the two of us slipped away for some much needed quiet time out on the boat and just quietly consider ALL God has blessed us with over this unexpected journey this year and to be transparent; to hesitantly consider the future and the reality of what it may hold for our family.  We are not, nor have ever been, in control and have relentlessly followed Christ.....yet the humanness of us has a tendency to question.  Truthfully, after looking at some recent photos of ourselves we see the visible effect of our heartache showing on us.  However, we are both so thankful to have one another to walk along this difficult journey.

      Truly we are out of the valley, off of the branch and well onto the road of recovery for Nathan.  Recently as I was organizing some documents, photos, video, etc of December and early this year it was such a reminder of just how gracious God is and how amazing it is that Nathan has come so far.  I suppose for us as his parents the most difficult thing is knowing our son for who he was:  the tremendous abilities God blessed him with in music, a communicator, leadership, superior intelligence, and that ability to seemingly have the King Midas touch of turning things into gold, suddenly put on pause.  Living life on pause has not been easy for any of us!  Truth is, Nathan still has all of those unique qualities God blessed him with, we anticipate how they will be manifested or restored in the future.  So much for all of us to learn about one another, God, and simply being grateful and living a life of faith.  As we stand at a distance and watch his dear wife, Beth, our hearts are filled with love, compassion, praise and thankfulness.  We do not take lightly her role in Nathan's recover and nurturing the family always pointing them to Christ.  

      While looking through the lens of the microscope of the children's lives, Gavin (6) shown brightly during his kindergarten graduation back in June.  When asked what he had learned this year in school, he had a profound answer.  "That God loves us and takes care of my family, I still have my Dad."  Wow!  As proud as I am of my oldest grandchild, it is his mother who has nurtured that attitude toward their drastically changed family life.  Simple truth, no bitterness, no whining, rather gratefulness to GOD!  

       So these days that I begin to waffle, wonder, question...I am a bit shamed that my six year old grandson 'gets it' so I just need to put chin in the air, square the shoulders and carry on----God is in charge of EVERYTHING!!!!

       Today, I was encouraged by the words to this song:

                           Praise You In This Storm  

I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again I'll say Amen
And it's still rainin'

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper
Through the rain
I'm with You
And as Your mercy falls
I'll raise my hands
And praise the God who gives
And takes away


And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And ev'ry tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm


I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
And raised me up again
But my strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You


I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of heaven and earth
                                                                         Casting Crowns
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