The Road

The past two days have been full of reflection, comparison, and looking to future accomplishments. Thursday marked four months since Nathan's stroke, yesterday four months post craniotomy and today four months since I arrived here, unsure if he would survive. Yesterday I took him to therapy to give Beth a break and some quality time at home with the kids and some needed paperwork accomplished. As I sat in speech with him and listened as he worked hard to now begin to put some words together to form a sentence it was an inner battle to hold back the flood of tears that welded behind my eyes. Tears of extreme gratefulness for all that God has blessed us with and the way He has restored Nathan continually through this process. The video posted is of his other therapy session yesterday. The last time I was with him a couple of weeks ago and the therapist tried to get his right fingers to hold onto the rod so he could lift his arm with his left.....he was not able to keep his fingers around the rod. Take a close look at the video you can see this is now being well accomplished and just a couple of weeks later. Huge progress for us to witness.

I find myself ever thankful that God has placed just the right physicians, nurses, therapist to care for Nathan. Again a reminder that nothing comes to us that is a surprise to God, he already had all of these details in place, so reassuring to see and feel His care for every tiny detail of our lives! Another blessing is that Nathan has a willing attitude to work and learn and interact with those working with him. His ever present smile.....thrills my heart and motivates me.

Much of what has consumed my thoughts and I suppose caused me to perhaps be a bit more quiet and subdued are thoughts and feelings of our soon departure. In just a couple of weeks we plan to return to Alaska for awhile. Earlier this morning I was remembering the heartache I would feel when leaving Nathan and our other children when they were mere children and Doug and I would need to be away. Knowing that we needed to go and that actually it would be good for all of us, yet so torn about being out of reach of my child/children. Necessary but unnerving. I realized this morning I am experiencing those same feelings though my son is now 32. However added to that is my precious daughter-in-law, Beth and four small grandchildren. Words cannot explain the love and admiration I have for Beth. She is truly a Godly woman whose price is FAR ABOVE rubies!! It will not be easy to leave them but I do have the confidence of a loving Heavenly Father that will watch over and care for them-----well much better than I anyway :)

I have spent many hours over the past four months considering those quaint sayings that often typify Christians. When you truly look at the message of many through a brighter lens the realization that often it is simply flowery words with little depth. There is a misconception that with Christ we will be security against the storms in life. The truth is with Christ we have security during the storms. From the darkest to the brightest hours of this journey (and yes I know it isn't over yet) I can truly say I have never been afraid. Heartbroken, yes! But a calming sense of security in knowing that regardless of what was coming Christ and Christ alone would sustain me. Recently, while reading I came across the following by Annie Johnson Flint. Reminding me that:

He never promised me an easy passage, only a safe landing.

set your sail to the heavenly gale,

And then, no matter what winds prevail,

No reef can wreck you, no calm delay;

No mist will hinder, no storm will stay;

Though far you wander and long you roam

Through salt sea sprays and o’er white sea foam,

No wind can blow but that will speed you Home.

We are now two weeks past Nathan's final surgery, which was to replace the bone plate in his skull. I cannot begin to explain how thankful I am to look at my son and now see a round head instead of the huge concave area that was previously there.

Thank you friends for following me along this valley to the branches and now onto the road. It has been a journey. Your prayers, emails, notes, comments, Facebook messages, personal visits and phone calls have helped bridge the abyss from the valley to the road!

Reimann, Jim; Cowman, Mrs. Charles E. (2008-09-02). Streams in the Desert: 366 Daily Devotional Readings (p. 136). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.