Broken Hallelujah

This morning I heard this song and it summed up so well the many times of desperation that I have felt over the past eight weeks. I could not have written it any better!

BROKEN HALLELUJAH

With my love and my sadness
I come before You Lord
My heart’s in a thousand pieces
Maybe even more

Yet I trust in this moment
You’re with me somehow
And You’ve always been faithful
So Lord even now
Chorus:
When all that I can sing
Is a broken hallelujah
When my only offering
Is shattered praise
Still a song of adoration
Will rise up from these ruins
I will worship You and give You thanks
Even when my only praise
Is a broken hallelujah

Oh Father, You have given
Much more than I deserve
And I have felt Your hand of blessing
On me at every turn

How could I doubt Your goodness
Your wisdom, Your grace
So Lord hear my heart
In this painful place

Chorus

Hallelujah
I lift my voice
Your Spirit moves
I raise my hands
I reach for You

Be Still and Know

When mountains fall and waters rise,
come hide yourself in me.
The One whose voice commands the worlds
still knows your every need.
Come now and wait on me;
draw near and rest in me.

(Chorus)
Be still and know tht I am God.
Be still and know that I am God


When darkness falls and sorrows rise,
remember who I am.
The One who dwells in eternity,
still comforts His own child.
Come now and look to me;
draw near and hope in me.

(Chorus)

When darkness falls and sorrows rise,
remember who I am

-Steve and Vikki Cook

Same Date - New Perspective

Sitting here this morning in Nathan's room, sipping coffee and just having some quiet time with the Lord while he still snoozes. As my eyes fall on the large display of the date for the day my heart fills with emotion. Since my kids were each old enough to grasp what I was saying through November 2011 I have contacted them on the 25th of each month to 'remind' them how many more months til Christmas. Flaky I know---but I grew up with my Dad always sharing this important information with us on a daily basis :) So I suppose the 'tradition' continues.
However, as I sit here this morning and watch my son peacefully sleep that strange lump comes in my throat when I hesitantly remember that on this date last month it was with great anxiety that I watched him, not knowing if he would survive or not. I think as each month the 25th arrives I will be forever changed and challenged to fall before my Almighty Savior and thank Him for what He has done in Nathan's life and not incidentally each member of our family.
Last night as we sat and watched Nathan enjoy the Impact Team from Word of Life sing---well it would be difficult to express the joy in our hearts as we watched him feel the music and observe the satisfaction on his face. Unworthy, I suppose is what I have most often felt in recent weeks. Unworthy of the miracles that God has allowed me to watch, unworthy of His love for me. In fact reminded that I am unworthy of anything except that by the Grace of God I am richly blessed.
A couple of hours after I began this post Nathan had awakened and as I was helping him prepare for the day I was talking to him. I asked him if he knew the date today. He began to smile, I nodded and said: "Yep, just eleven months from today is Christmas!" Further I shared with him that I really wasn't sure a month ago that he would survive and how thankful I am that he did. He smiled largely and said; "God!" and gave a big thumbs up!
My kids can all be assured that they will continue to hear from me on the 25th of each month, but it will be with a new perspective!

Merry Christmas------in eleven months!

They Are Everywhere!

I have several posts that I have scribbled on bits of paper over the past week or two, but I just have to post this first.

They are everywhere, people hurting, people in need. I have to be very honest with you, I really don't 'want' to reach out to others, my own hurt is so fresh, so deep, so open. But, it is ever a reminder that our 'ministry' isn't just inside the walls of a church building or assembly of people. It IS about sharing the Gospel, sharing the testimony of Christ in our lives. Hurting people and people in need are everywhere around us, we just need to open our eyes and see their need.

Tonight I went downstairs to do Nathan's laundry and a bit of ours. As I walked in a man and his daughter were there loading in clothes into the washer. He explained they had been there for three weeks because their house burned. The conversation continued and eventually led to why I was there. I had noticed when I first saw him that he was dressed in scrubs. Well he works at a hospital in the area and his wife............she is one of the chief executives of the rehab facility where Nathan is being treated. He was pretty sure she was involved in Nathan's care. As we talked, he began to cry and said he couldn't hear anymore of the story, he has worked for 35 years in the field and it is just too heart breaking. Expressed to his daughter that theirs was just an inconvenience of a burned house, but our family had been wounded beyond repair.

Then when I told him of Nathan's recovery on a daily basis, he was overwhelmed, said it just couldn't be, that it just doesn't happen. THEN, I was able to share that we have a gracious loving God who is able to do more than we ask or think. One door led to another, he made no commitment but I am praying for him. He recognized that God is at work in our son's life.

Tonight this is just the latest of a series of God appointments that we have encountered along the way these past three weeks. Truthfully, we should be having these encounters all the time and to not have them to be the oddity. Reminds me of Nathan's song Make Me!

THE THORN

I stood a mendicant (beggar) of God
before His royal throne
And begged Him for a priceless gift, which I could call my own.
I took the gift from out His hand,
but as I would depart,
I cried "but Lord, this is a thorn
and it has pierced my heart.
This is a strange, a hurtful gift
that Thou hast given me."
He said, "My child, I give good gifts
and give my best to thee."
I took it home and though at first,
the cruel thorn hurt sore;
As long years passed I learned at last
to love it more and more.
I learned He never gives a thorn
without this added grace.
He takes the thorn to pin aside.....
the veil which hides His face.
Martha Snell Nicholson

Common Bonds

Having spent the past week sitting in the ICU waiting room, you quickly see you are not the only hurting person. Some families have come and gone due to their loved one improving, passing on, or being transferred. It has been good the past couple of days to begin to see opportunities the Lord is giving to us to minister even in the midst of our own pain. Our focus is to be on Christ, not our own anguish or set of circumstances. He promises to be with us and to comfort us, we need to share that with others who hurt.
Last night was one of those times. As we walked out of the ICU unit there were four teens sitting in the hall obviously shaken. I have to be completely honest with you, I really wanted to look the other way. Feeling that my own pain was too great to be able to comfort someone else. Yet as we looked though the window of the waiting room at them and then at one another, there was no question what the Lord wanted us to do. As I walked around the corner and opened my arms the young girl of about 14 fell into my arms and sobbed. Their father had had a stroke. As I rocked her in my arms and stroked her hair I assured her of the comfort we all can have in Christ. At the same time Doug comforted her brothers in a fatherly manner. It was then that we were able to have prayer with them and their spirits were quieted.
Afterward as we sat quietly and comforted one another we were amazed at the grace God provides when we need it. This morning when we arrived a gentleman was waiting and Doug had the opportunity to have prayer with him. Then later the mother of the teens came out of her husbands ICU room and we were able to talk with her and have prayer.
I guess all of this rambling to say that no matter what circumstance one finds themselves in along the road of life, we can and should always be willing to reach out to others in need. It creates a common bond so that can bridge a friendship and focus on Christ.

God Reigns in The Storm

There's a tempest that can flood the soul,
when troubles pound like crashing waves.
In these afflictions I have realized,
there's a place that I can hide.
I know that God has promised me
His strength,
and His word can never fail.
He is faithful, O so faithful.

There are sovereign days holding all my days.
Yes, I know God reigns in the storm.
Every trial and pain,wisdom has ordained.
Yes, I know God reigns in the storm.

There's a midnight that can fill the soul,
when the darkness knows no end.
And though it feels like I am all alone,
there's a truth that gives me hope.
I know the one who has counted all my tears,
and He is nearer than my breath.
He is with me, always with me.

There's so many things I don't understand.
But I know His every plan for me is good.

He Reigns.

found in A Steadfast Heart