Face In The Wind

Reflecting on days gone by lately.  Growing up in the sultry humid midwest in an era before air conditioning in cars and seatbelts were nonexistent, reflects a far different way of coping when the heat was consuming.  While in the car relief came in the form of rolling down the window (all the way down) and sticking your head out to gasp a breath of fresh air.  It forded a feeling of refreshment, strength to go on and a peaceful aloneness in the midst of the heat.

The past six weeks or so I've found myself feeling much like those stifling days of summer heat.  Consumed.  Sweltering.  Breathless.  The sudden diagnosis of pancreatic cancer, the surgery and plan  to confine the affects with chemo for six months???  Lets be honest here:  I'm no super spiritual super saint...it has thrown me for a loop!!  There are days I don't want to fight..I want to disappear into a silent abyss!  Don't misunderstand I am one of a few to have this found and taken care of at such an early stage and I am truly blessed and thankful. Though it doesn't alter the fact that my life has been greatly altered!  I go for appoints to the cancer care alliance and wonder why I'm there it all seems so surreal.  I look across the room at the wigs and head wraps they have supplied me with in preparation for the effects of chemo...can this truly be for me?  I suppose the best description of my feelings is found in my recent reflections of childhood.  Smothered in heat, sweating, wondering when relief and refreshment will come.  Then I remember...roll down the window and stick your face in the wind!

Truly it gives one the feeling ( or at least it did me as a kid) that I could fly and soar with eagles!  Today for me it is a feeling of a breath of  Heaven.  It's about choice and today I choose to roll down the window and stick my face in the wind.  Today I choose to soar and receive the Breath of Heaven to saturate my soul and diminish the sweltering heat of the present.  To enjoy a peaceful aloneness in the midst of the heat.  To soar with the eagles.  Isaiah 40:31. But those who trust in The Lord will find new strength.  They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary they
will walk and not faint.

Breath of Heaven, hold me together

Be forever near me, Breath of Heaven

Breath of Heaven, lighten my darkness

Pour over me Your holiness for You are holy

Breath of Heaven, hold me together

Be forever near me, breath of Heaven

Breath of Heaven, lighten my darkness

Pour over me Your holiness for You are holy

Breath of Heaven, Breath of Heaven

Breath of Heaven

                                               ***AMY GRANT

Turning Pages

Reading to be refreshed of the day early this morning.  Came across this and what a huge 'refreshment'!

Then David said to Saul, "Let no man's heart fail because of [Goliath]; our servant will go and fight with this Philistine."  1 Samuel 17:32

"Keep turning the pages by faith and let the sort play out to the end." (*Dr. David Jeremiah)

I love to read but to get to the end of a book/story you have to keep turning pages.  So it is for me in my life…I want to 'keep turning the pages' of life!  What good is a half read book?  One that when you get to a part you don't like, you toss aside and never finish!  You never discover the richness of that book, story, challenge because instead you stopped, dogeared the page and have remained in your misery, your need ending struggle, your downcast negative uselessness.

That's not for me….Neither do i believe it to be a Biblical or Godly response.  We are to be Page Turners!  There is no pause for a dogeared spot in our stories….In faith keep turning the pages!

Yesterday was a 'speed read' kind of day filled with my recovery, issues with our home in another state (=retirement), and our grandson, Jack's seizure activity….the pages were turned speedily!  Last night Doug and I talked in hushed tones reflected over the 38 years we have known one another, 37 since our engagement and soon to be 36 years of marriage.  Those are many years….often having--no countless times--of giving opportunity to place a dogeared mark and toss life aside, sit in a pity party, struggle and bemoan the hand we were dealt.  Yet as we talked and reflected last night the realization that by continuing to 'turn pages' we have both grown stronger, our vision clearer and most importantly that when the storms rage we have a peace that only comes from the true author of our lives!!

Keep turning pages in faith my friend!  Don't allow a bookcase filled with dogeared books, full of unrevealed peace in your life!

TURN THE PAGE!